Just when you thought it was the medieval laws that were a bit quacked, you get some new gems from recent years.

Topping the list is my favorite UK law. In 1998, seems they thought it was necessary to create a law banning a nucleur explosion. Yes, if you set off your own home made bathtub nuke, you may in fact be facing some jail time. Go figure. Seems that being charged with all the death and devastation the bomb causes is not quite enough of a punishment. And dare I even mention the punishment of George W. Bush up your butt with the entire U.S. military blowing up your entire town for even thinking such things (well, only if your town sits on any considerable amount of oil).

Well, hell… I was gonna order up a few million dollars worth of uranium to create a cool light show in the yard, but I sure can’t now, it would be illegal. I wonder what the fine would be? In Chico, California they say there is a fine of $500 for detonating a nuclear device.

3000 new laws in nine years, wow… Tony may be going for Guinness Book Stardom on this one

The article is from a website called independent and begins as so..

Tony Blair’s government has created more than 3,000 new criminal offenses during its nine-year tenure, one for almost every day it has been in power.

The astonishing tally brought accusations last night of a “frenzied approach to law-making” that contrasts with falling detection rates and climbing levels of violent crime.

The figures emerged as police chiefs disclosed they were considering asking ministers for a set of new measures to allow them to impose “instant justice” for antisocial behavior.

The 3,000-plus offenses have been driven on to the statute book by an administration that has faced repeated charges of meddling in the everyday lives of citizens, from restricting freedom of speech to planning to issue identity cards to all adults.

In total, the Government has brought in 3,023 offenses since May 1997. They comprise 1,169 introduced by primary legislation - debated in Parliament - and 1,854 by secondary legislation such as statutory instruments and orders in council.

… and watch out for squirrels (gray kind) and suspect potatoes as well, both may get you in deep shit. Oh, one more thing… just stay away from the Titanic, that thing has already seen enough trouble, no need to add to it.
Twenty activities outlawed by Labour

Nuclear Explosions (Prohibition and Inspections) Act 1998

Causing a nuclear explosion.

Scallop Fishing Order 2004

If a boat breaches the restrictions in articles 3, 4 or 5, the master, owner and charterer are each guilty of an offence.

Measuring Instruments (Automatic Rail-weighbridges) Regulations 2006

A person shall be guilty of an offence if he uses for trade an automatic rail-weighbridge to which there is affixed a disqualification sticker.

Scotland Act 1998 (Border Rivers) Order 1999

Unauthorised fishing in the Lower Esk.

Apple and Pear Orchard Grubbing Up Regulations 1998

Any person who (a) intentionally obstructs an authorised person in the exercise of the powers conferred on him by regulation 10 above, or a person accompanying him and acting under his instructions or (b) without reasonable excuse, fails to comply with a requirement under regulation 10 above, shall be guilty of an offence.

Protection of Wrecks (RMS Titanic) Order 2003

A person shall not enter the hull of the Titanic without permission from the Secretary of State.

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The following are some of the mostabsurd laws"> absurd laws (non-U.S. silly laws) I have found to date, check em out for a good chuckle.

1. Bolivia, In Santa Cruz it is illegal for a man to have sex with a woman and her daughter at the same time.
2. In Canada Any debt higher than 25 cents cannot be paid in pennies. In Toronto, it is illegal to ride a streetcar on a Sunday if you have been eating garlic
3. In China - A form of population control? Do not stop for pedestrians, just run em over, there are too many people in China anyway…
   • Drivers who stop at pedestrian crossings may receive a fine or a warning under Article 40 of the Beijing Traffic Laws
   • In China - yep, they have 2 that made the list, In order to go to college you must be “intelligent”.
4. Denmark - It is illegal to start a car if there is anyone under it.
   • Denmark - The don’t make the horse feel inferior law - If a car is overtaking a horse-drawn carriage and the horse becomes agitated, the driver must pull over and if necessary cover the car from the horse’s view.
5. Finland - Considering its cheaper for air than a ticket, this may be a good thing, unless you are in a hurry. Finnish police do not issue tickets for illegal parking – they just let down the person’s tires. Maybe you can carry an air compressor in the trunk and park anywhere you like.
6. France - It is illegal to call a pig Napoleon
   • They may also be a bit paranoid when it comes to alien invasions!

   • It is illegal to sell dolls with alien faces – they must have human faces.

   • It is illegal to land a flying saucer in a vineyard.
7. Germany - A pillow is regarded as a “passive weapon”.
8. United Kingdom - that darn dress code - It is illegal for Members of Parliament to enter the House of Commons in full armour.
   • This is brilliant - It is illegal to drive a car without sitting in the front seat
   • I wonder how this came about, the police helmet I mean, A pregnant woman can legally urinate anywhere including in a policeman’s helmet.
   • In Liverpool it is illegal for a woman to be topless in public unless she is employed in an exotic fish shop.
9. Greece - drivers, watch your hygiene - A driver’s license can be revoked if the person appears poorly dressed or unwashed
10. Guinea - It is illegal to call a baby “Monica”
11. Iceland - A place for quacks or quacked medicine - Anyone is allowed to practice medicine in Iceland provided they display the word Scottulaejnir meaning “Quack doctor”
12. Iran - Iranian law suggests that sex play between animals is not recommended – especially when it involves a lioness
    • It is forbidden to eat snakes on a Sunday
13. Israel - I guess nose picking may upset the lord. It is illegal to pick one’s nose on the Sabbath
    • I hope you can find matching socks in the dark - No person is allowed to dress or undress with the light switched on.
14. Japan - Purple a happy color? It is illegal to wear purple unless you are in mourning.
15. Madagascar - Pregnant women may not wear hats
16. Malaysia - Oh, I gotta wonder about this one, at least the word “used” is not mentioned. It is illegal for restaurant owners to substitute a table napkin with toilet paper.
17. Paraguay - Dueling is legal providing both combatants are blood donors, followed by this gem… A man who catches his wife with someone else in bed is legally permitted to kill his wife and her lover providing he acts immediately.
18. Peru - those sexy female alpacas keep getting young men in trouble… with the law - Unmarried young men are not permitted to keep female alpacas in their apartments.
19. Russia - It is illegal to drive a dirty car
20. Qatar - Just plain shit out of luck here - If an unmarried woman falls pregnant she is banned from using hospitals or calling for any medical assistance. Her only options are to do without healthcare or leave the country
21. Saudi Arabia - Who would have thunk it… it this region of “sexual equalitty” It is illegal for women to appear in public without a male relative or guardian present.
    • Women are not allowed to drive cars
    • It is illegal for male doctors to examine women and female doctors to examine men.
    • A woman can divorce her husband if he does not keep her supplied with coffee.
22. Singapore - The toilet flushing police are near, watch out - Failure to flush a public toilet is punishable by a fine or a prison sentence if caught during random checks by special police.
    • If you are caught dropping litter more than 3 times, the penalty is to clean the streets on Sundays wearing a bib saying “I am a litterer”. This will then be broadcast on the local news.
23. Turkey - The just in case law - All drivers must carry a hygienic body bag suitable for carrying a body up to 18st 12lbs (120 kilos). Failure to do so will result in a fine and possible a 6 month jail sentence.

Australia

When going outside, cats in the town of Longhorn must wear three bells on their collar to warn of their approach to birds.

In Victoria it is illegal to wear “hot pink pants” after 12 noon on a Sunday.

Bermuda

Women may not wear skirts shorter than 8 inches (20 cm) above the knee Women may not wear halter neck tops in public places.

Ecuador

A woman may dance in public wearing nothing but a piece of gauze covering her belly button.

England
In Liverpool it is illegal for a woman to be topless in public unless she is employed in an exotic fish shop.

Israel

No person is allowed to dress or undress with the light switched on.

Japan

It is illegal to wear purple unless you are in mourning.

Laos

Women may not show their toes in public
Madagascar
Pregnant women may not wear hats

Mexico

In Guadalajara it is illegal for women who work in Government offices to wear mini skirts or any form of “provocative” clothing

Thailand

When a man is driving he must always wear a shirt It is illegal to leave your house if you are not wearing any underwear.

Talk about the craziest laws of all…

It is difficult for me to even imagine beating my spouse to keep them in check, murdering my daughter for being a teenager or selling another to the highest bidder… and being within the law and serving God by doing so.
The sickest laws of all are the ones imposed by a groups spiritual beliefs, onto all. Actually, If religion was never invented, half the misery and suffering on the planet would most likely have never occurred. I would bet that more people have been killed over organized religion in our written history than all our non-religious wars put together… the non-religious ones being very few, if any. Even modern wars like WWII and IRAQ were fueled by religious beliefs.

This in fact may be the best example of why criminal and civil law should not be combined with ones personal spirituality.

Islamic laws have long been a source of controversy.

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This is classic, and I bet it is very real, can you imagine?

In South Korea, traffic policemen are required to report all bribes that they receive from motorists.

hmmm, I wonder if anyone ever has. I bet that law is good all around the planet. Mexico comes to mind quickly.

“yes, sir… I am reporting that an American named Mr. Smith paid me 100 U.S. dollars to let him go, here is the evidence(100 dollar bill), please return it when finished with fingerprinting or DNA”

I found this hunting regulation for California. Anyone with a Rodent problem will need to pay for a hunting license as well as the exterminator because it is illegal to set a mousetrap in California if you don’t have a HUNTING license. Hopefully, they are not hunting for food.

In Arkansas, schoolteachers who bob their hair are not eligible for a raise. Bad hair day is not an excuse.

In Los Angeles, a man can legally beat his wife with a leather belt or strap, but the belt can’t be wider than 2 inches, unless he has his wife’s consent to beat her with a wider strap. Consent should be given prior to the beating, in writing would be good.

Texas looks down on Beer Making and bans the Encyclopaedia Britannica for containing a formula for home brew.

Nebraska is all about manners, especially in church, if a child burbs in chirch, his or her parents can be arrested.

Nebraska is also the state that takes haircare seriously, Giving a perm without a license is an offense.

Wait… this is a winner.

ANYONE who detonates a nuclear device in the city limits in Chico, California, can be fined $500. That is if the city is still intact and there are any lawyers around to pursue this.

Who comes up with this crazy legal shit?

Is he the corset inspector?

In Norfolk, Virginia, a woman can’t go out without wearing a corset. There was a civil service job for men only called a corset inspector.

more antiquated sexism….

A Tremonton, Utah law states that no woman is allowed to have sex with a man while riding in an ambulance. In addition to normal charges, the woman’s name will be published in the local newspaper. The man does not receive any punishment.

Laws and ordinances you really must wonder about. Wonder why any lawmaker would even waste the ink to write this much less the tax dollars to get it pushed through.

• In Alberta it seems that It is illegal for a man to drink with a woman in an Edmonton beer parlor.
• Throwing snowballs in Calgary, where there is lots of snow is against the law. I wonder if anyone ever tried to enforce this law.
• Bicycle riders are caught in a catch 22, see by law both hands must be on the handlebars at ALL times, but, you must signal with your arm to turn… hmmm…. Edmonton
• In Canada, Kids tie them laces in double knots because it is illegal for a teen to walk down main street with their shoes untied.
• In Saskatoon, It is illegal to try and catch fish with your hands
• In Toronto There will be no sawing of wood on the street
• It Toronto, it is against the law to wash your car in the street
• Windsor, no playing of a musical instrument in a park
• and in Winnipeg, No hitting the ground with metal objects
• In Winnipeg, make sure your blinds are down if dressing because you may be in some trouble if you forgot.

Here are some more… it just gets stranger for some Canadian lawmakers. I wonder what the punishment may even be for eating ice cream or having a broadband internet connection.

Does that meen the phone companies in Ontario are all breaking the law by installing broadband lines.

1. In Nova Scotia a person is not allowed to water their grass when it’s raining. Not like someone would do this, but it’s against the law in Nova Scotia!
2. In Cobourg, Ontario if you have a water trough in your front yard, it must be filled by 5:00am!
3. In Guelph, Ontario, the city is classified as a no pee zone!
4. In Toronto, Ontario, where I lived, it’s illegal to drag a dead horse down Younge St on a Sunday!
5. In Montreal, Ontario you are not allowed to wash your car in the street or park your car in a way that it blocks your own driveway!
6. In Ottawa, Ontario you are not allowed to eat ice cream on Bank St on a Sunday!
7. In Beaconsfield, Canada it’s considered an offense to have more than two colours on your house; and you are not allowed to own a log cabin!
8. In Uxbridge, Ontario it’s illegal to have an internet connection faster than 56k!
9. In Kanata, Ontario, believe this, it’s illegal to have a clothes line in your back yard!
10. Finally, in Oshawa, Ontario it’s illegal to climb trees!

This list is a bit old, but its still really funny from telegraph.co.uk.

Now my fave is the one about dying in Parliament. I wonder how you would enforce that since if you died, you most likely can not be jailed or fined.

Maybe they are trying to curb people being plain bored to death while listening to the politicians.

Ten stupidest laws are named - These are the stupidest laws, according to percentage share of public vote.

Most ridiculous British laws:

1. It is illegal to die in the Houses of Parliament (27%)
2. It is an act of treason to place a postage stamp bearing the British monarch upside-down (7%)
3. In Liverpool, it is illegal for a woman to be topless except as a clerk in a tropical fish store (6%)
4. Mince pies cannot be eaten on Christmas Day (5%)
5. In Scotland, if someone knocks on your door and requires the use of your toilet, you must let them enter (4%)
6. In the UK a pregnant woman can legally relieve herself anywhere she wants, including in a policeman’s helmet (4%)
7. The head of any dead whale found on the British coast automatically becomes the property of the King, and the tail of the Queen (3.5%)
8. It is illegal not to tell the tax man anything you do not want him to know, but legal not to tell him information you do not mind him knowing (3%)
9. It is illegal to enter the Houses of Parliament in a suit of armour
10. In the city of York it is legal to murder a Scotsman within the ancient city walls, but only if he is carrying a bow and arrow (2%)

Most lame laws elsewhere:

1. In Ohio, it is illegal to get a fish drunk (9%)
2. In Indonesia, the penalty for masturbation is decapitation (8%)
3. In Bahrain, a male doctor can only examine the genitals of a woman in the reflection of a mirror (7%)
4. In Switzerland, a man may not relieve himself standing up after 10pm (6%)
5. In Alabama, it is illegal to be blindfolded while driving a vehicle (6%)
6. In Florida, unmarried women who parachute on a Sunday could be jailed (6%)
7. In Vermont, women must obtain written permission from their husbands to wear false teeth (6%)
8. In Milan, it is a legal requirement to smile at all times, except funerals or hospital visits (5%)
9. In Japan, there is no age of consent (5%)
10. In France, it is illegal to name a pig Napoleon (4%)

It also seems that during this survey, nearly half of those surveyed admitted to breaking the ban on eating mince pies on Christmas Day, which dates back to the 17th century and was originally designed to outlaw gluttony during the rule of the Puritan Oliver Crowmell.  Now thats a lot of law breakers in the UK.

This really puzzles me, now I know the the US government has gone after spammers and scammers in the US. I also understand that there is very little the US law enforcement agencies can do about “electronic crime” that is committed in identity theft hotspots like Nigeria and other Afri-scam and Afri-spam countries. But this be ridiculous…

From the Department of Justice (DOJ) website:

January 30, 2008

The Department of Justice did not send these unsolicited email messages—and would not send such messages to the public via email. Similar hoaxes have been recently perpetrated in the names of various governmental entities, including the Federal Bureau of Investigation, the Federal Trade Commission, and the Internal Revenue Service. The email messages contain a malicious attachment as well as random text used to defeat spam filters. Email users should be especially wary of unsolicited warning messages that purport to come from U.S. governmental agencies directing them to click on file attachments or to provide sensitive personal information.

If you have received this, or a similar hoax, please file a complaint at www.ic3.gov.

Hoax Email Sample:

To see a full listing of Nigerian scam emails and other Afri-scams click here