Just when you thought it was the medieval laws that were a bit quacked, you get some new gems from recent years.

Topping the list is my favorite UK law. In 1998, seems they thought it was necessary to create a law banning a nucleur explosion. Yes, if you set off your own home made bathtub nuke, you may in fact be facing some jail time. Go figure. Seems that being charged with all the death and devastation the bomb causes is not quite enough of a punishment. And dare I even mention the punishment of George W. Bush up your butt with the entire U.S. military blowing up your entire town for even thinking such things (well, only if your town sits on any considerable amount of oil).

Well, hell… I was gonna order up a few million dollars worth of uranium to create a cool light show in the yard, but I sure can’t now, it would be illegal. I wonder what the fine would be? In Chico, California they say there is a fine of $500 for detonating a nuclear device.

3000 new laws in nine years, wow… Tony may be going for Guinness Book Stardom on this one

The article is from a website called independent and begins as so..

Tony Blair’s government has created more than 3,000 new criminal offenses during its nine-year tenure, one for almost every day it has been in power.

The astonishing tally brought accusations last night of a “frenzied approach to law-making” that contrasts with falling detection rates and climbing levels of violent crime.

The figures emerged as police chiefs disclosed they were considering asking ministers for a set of new measures to allow them to impose “instant justice” for antisocial behavior.

The 3,000-plus offenses have been driven on to the statute book by an administration that has faced repeated charges of meddling in the everyday lives of citizens, from restricting freedom of speech to planning to issue identity cards to all adults.

In total, the Government has brought in 3,023 offenses since May 1997. They comprise 1,169 introduced by primary legislation - debated in Parliament - and 1,854 by secondary legislation such as statutory instruments and orders in council.

… and watch out for squirrels (gray kind) and suspect potatoes as well, both may get you in deep shit. Oh, one more thing… just stay away from the Titanic, that thing has already seen enough trouble, no need to add to it.
Twenty activities outlawed by Labour

Nuclear Explosions (Prohibition and Inspections) Act 1998

Causing a nuclear explosion.

Scallop Fishing Order 2004

If a boat breaches the restrictions in articles 3, 4 or 5, the master, owner and charterer are each guilty of an offence.

Measuring Instruments (Automatic Rail-weighbridges) Regulations 2006

A person shall be guilty of an offence if he uses for trade an automatic rail-weighbridge to which there is affixed a disqualification sticker.

Scotland Act 1998 (Border Rivers) Order 1999

Unauthorised fishing in the Lower Esk.

Apple and Pear Orchard Grubbing Up Regulations 1998

Any person who (a) intentionally obstructs an authorised person in the exercise of the powers conferred on him by regulation 10 above, or a person accompanying him and acting under his instructions or (b) without reasonable excuse, fails to comply with a requirement under regulation 10 above, shall be guilty of an offence.

Protection of Wrecks (RMS Titanic) Order 2003

A person shall not enter the hull of the Titanic without permission from the Secretary of State.

Read the rest of this entry »

The following are some of the mostabsurd laws"> absurd laws (non-U.S. silly laws) I have found to date, check em out for a good chuckle.

1. Bolivia, In Santa Cruz it is illegal for a man to have sex with a woman and her daughter at the same time.
2. In Canada Any debt higher than 25 cents cannot be paid in pennies. In Toronto, it is illegal to ride a streetcar on a Sunday if you have been eating garlic
3. In China - A form of population control? Do not stop for pedestrians, just run em over, there are too many people in China anyway…
   • Drivers who stop at pedestrian crossings may receive a fine or a warning under Article 40 of the Beijing Traffic Laws
   • In China - yep, they have 2 that made the list, In order to go to college you must be “intelligent”.
4. Denmark - It is illegal to start a car if there is anyone under it.
   • Denmark - The don’t make the horse feel inferior law - If a car is overtaking a horse-drawn carriage and the horse becomes agitated, the driver must pull over and if necessary cover the car from the horse’s view.
5. Finland - Considering its cheaper for air than a ticket, this may be a good thing, unless you are in a hurry. Finnish police do not issue tickets for illegal parking – they just let down the person’s tires. Maybe you can carry an air compressor in the trunk and park anywhere you like.
6. France - It is illegal to call a pig Napoleon
   • They may also be a bit paranoid when it comes to alien invasions!

   • It is illegal to sell dolls with alien faces – they must have human faces.

   • It is illegal to land a flying saucer in a vineyard.
7. Germany - A pillow is regarded as a “passive weapon”.
8. United Kingdom - that darn dress code - It is illegal for Members of Parliament to enter the House of Commons in full armour.
   • This is brilliant - It is illegal to drive a car without sitting in the front seat
   • I wonder how this came about, the police helmet I mean, A pregnant woman can legally urinate anywhere including in a policeman’s helmet.
   • In Liverpool it is illegal for a woman to be topless in public unless she is employed in an exotic fish shop.
9. Greece - drivers, watch your hygiene - A driver’s license can be revoked if the person appears poorly dressed or unwashed
10. Guinea - It is illegal to call a baby “Monica”
11. Iceland - A place for quacks or quacked medicine - Anyone is allowed to practice medicine in Iceland provided they display the word Scottulaejnir meaning “Quack doctor”
12. Iran - Iranian law suggests that sex play between animals is not recommended – especially when it involves a lioness
    • It is forbidden to eat snakes on a Sunday
13. Israel - I guess nose picking may upset the lord. It is illegal to pick one’s nose on the Sabbath
    • I hope you can find matching socks in the dark - No person is allowed to dress or undress with the light switched on.
14. Japan - Purple a happy color? It is illegal to wear purple unless you are in mourning.
15. Madagascar - Pregnant women may not wear hats
16. Malaysia - Oh, I gotta wonder about this one, at least the word “used” is not mentioned. It is illegal for restaurant owners to substitute a table napkin with toilet paper.
17. Paraguay - Dueling is legal providing both combatants are blood donors, followed by this gem… A man who catches his wife with someone else in bed is legally permitted to kill his wife and her lover providing he acts immediately.
18. Peru - those sexy female alpacas keep getting young men in trouble… with the law - Unmarried young men are not permitted to keep female alpacas in their apartments.
19. Russia - It is illegal to drive a dirty car
20. Qatar - Just plain shit out of luck here - If an unmarried woman falls pregnant she is banned from using hospitals or calling for any medical assistance. Her only options are to do without healthcare or leave the country
21. Saudi Arabia - Who would have thunk it… it this region of “sexual equalitty” It is illegal for women to appear in public without a male relative or guardian present.
    • Women are not allowed to drive cars
    • It is illegal for male doctors to examine women and female doctors to examine men.
    • A woman can divorce her husband if he does not keep her supplied with coffee.
22. Singapore - The toilet flushing police are near, watch out - Failure to flush a public toilet is punishable by a fine or a prison sentence if caught during random checks by special police.
    • If you are caught dropping litter more than 3 times, the penalty is to clean the streets on Sundays wearing a bib saying “I am a litterer”. This will then be broadcast on the local news.
23. Turkey - The just in case law - All drivers must carry a hygienic body bag suitable for carrying a body up to 18st 12lbs (120 kilos). Failure to do so will result in a fine and possible a 6 month jail sentence.

Australia

When going outside, cats in the town of Longhorn must wear three bells on their collar to warn of their approach to birds.

In Victoria it is illegal to wear “hot pink pants” after 12 noon on a Sunday.

Bermuda

Women may not wear skirts shorter than 8 inches (20 cm) above the knee Women may not wear halter neck tops in public places.

Ecuador

A woman may dance in public wearing nothing but a piece of gauze covering her belly button.

England
In Liverpool it is illegal for a woman to be topless in public unless she is employed in an exotic fish shop.

Israel

No person is allowed to dress or undress with the light switched on.

Japan

It is illegal to wear purple unless you are in mourning.

Laos

Women may not show their toes in public
Madagascar
Pregnant women may not wear hats

Mexico

In Guadalajara it is illegal for women who work in Government offices to wear mini skirts or any form of “provocative” clothing

Thailand

When a man is driving he must always wear a shirt It is illegal to leave your house if you are not wearing any underwear.

Laws and ordinances you really must wonder about. Wonder why any lawmaker would even waste the ink to write this much less the tax dollars to get it pushed through.

• In Alberta it seems that It is illegal for a man to drink with a woman in an Edmonton beer parlor.
• Throwing snowballs in Calgary, where there is lots of snow is against the law. I wonder if anyone ever tried to enforce this law.
• Bicycle riders are caught in a catch 22, see by law both hands must be on the handlebars at ALL times, but, you must signal with your arm to turn… hmmm…. Edmonton
• In Canada, Kids tie them laces in double knots because it is illegal for a teen to walk down main street with their shoes untied.
• In Saskatoon, It is illegal to try and catch fish with your hands
• In Toronto There will be no sawing of wood on the street
• It Toronto, it is against the law to wash your car in the street
• Windsor, no playing of a musical instrument in a park
• and in Winnipeg, No hitting the ground with metal objects
• In Winnipeg, make sure your blinds are down if dressing because you may be in some trouble if you forgot.

Here are some more… it just gets stranger for some Canadian lawmakers. I wonder what the punishment may even be for eating ice cream or having a broadband internet connection.

Does that meen the phone companies in Ontario are all breaking the law by installing broadband lines.

1. In Nova Scotia a person is not allowed to water their grass when it’s raining. Not like someone would do this, but it’s against the law in Nova Scotia!
2. In Cobourg, Ontario if you have a water trough in your front yard, it must be filled by 5:00am!
3. In Guelph, Ontario, the city is classified as a no pee zone!
4. In Toronto, Ontario, where I lived, it’s illegal to drag a dead horse down Younge St on a Sunday!
5. In Montreal, Ontario you are not allowed to wash your car in the street or park your car in a way that it blocks your own driveway!
6. In Ottawa, Ontario you are not allowed to eat ice cream on Bank St on a Sunday!
7. In Beaconsfield, Canada it’s considered an offense to have more than two colours on your house; and you are not allowed to own a log cabin!
8. In Uxbridge, Ontario it’s illegal to have an internet connection faster than 56k!
9. In Kanata, Ontario, believe this, it’s illegal to have a clothes line in your back yard!
10. Finally, in Oshawa, Ontario it’s illegal to climb trees!

The UK’s top 10 most ridiculous British laws

1. It is illegal to die in the Houses of Parliament
2. It is an act of treason to place a postage stamp bearing the British king or queen’s image upside-down
3. It is illegal for a woman to be topless in Liverpool except as a clerk in a tropical fish store
4. Eating mince pies on Christmas Day is banned
5. If someone knocks on your door in Scotland and requires the use of your toilet, you are required to let them enter
6. In the UK a pregnant woman can legally relieve herself anywhere she wants, including in a policeman’s helmet
7. The head of any dead whale found on the British coast automatically becomes the property of the King, and the tail of the Queen
8. It is illegal not to tell the tax man anything you do not want him to know, but legal not to tell him information you do not mind him knowing
9. It is illegal to enter the Houses of Parliament wearing a suit of armour
10. It is legal to murder a Scotsman within the ancient city walls of York, but only if he is carrying a bow and arrow

In the UK, it’s The Law Commission’s job to search out such laws and add them to a Repeal Bill, which gets passed by Parliament every few years. But there are still loads of bizarre laws out there that have never been revoked. Here are just a few:

If someone knocks on your door and requires the use of your commode, you must let them enter.

It is legal for a male to urinate in public, as long as it is on the rear wheel of his motor vehicle and his right hand is on the vehicle.

All English males over the age of 14 are to carry out 2 hours of Longbow practice a week supervised by the local clergy.

No boy under the age of 12 may see a naked shop mannequin.

No one is allowed to die in Parliament. Well except the Queen. Westminster is a royal palace and anyone dying in a royal palace is eligible for a state funeral. So to avoid a costly funeral, if anyone does die, his or her body is removed before the death certificate is issued.

In Liverpool, it is illegal for a woman to be topless in public except as a clerk in a tropical fish store.

In Bristol lovers are not allowed to kick a dog out of bed as apparently a dog – but not a cat - has the right to be a voyeur.

London taxi drivers are supposed to ask passengers if they are suffering from smallpox or the plague, since carrying sufferers is illegal.

A law introduced in 1307 ensures that the head of any dead whale found on the British coast becomes the property of the king and the tail belongs to the queen - should she need the bones for her corset.

It is illegal to wear armour in the Houses of Parliament

It is still an offence to beat or shake any carpet rug or mat in any street in the Metropolitan Police District, although you are allowed to shake a doormat before 8am.

And finally, possibly the silliest of them all: it is illegal to be drunk on Licensed Premises ie. in a pub or bar. I think someone’s missing the point.

The US does not hold the patent on the outdated and absurd… here are some silly laws from other countries.

In Philippines, cars whose license plates end with a 1 or 2 are not allowed on the roads on Monday, 3 or 4 on Tuesday, 5 or 6 on Wednesday, 7 or 8 on Thursday, and 9 or 0 on Friday from 7:00 AM onwards to keep roads free of traffic jams.

In Singapore, it is illegal to come within 50 meters of a pedestrian crossing marker on any street.

In South Korea, traffic policemen are required to report all bribes that they receive from motorists.

In Sweden, prostitution is legal but it is illegal to use the services of a prostitute.

In Switzerland, it is illegal to flush the toilet after 10 PM.

In Thailand, it is illegal to leave your house without wearing underwear.