This is classic, and I bet it is very real, can you imagine?

In South Korea, traffic policemen are required to report all bribes that they receive from motorists.

hmmm, I wonder if anyone ever has. I bet that law is good all around the planet. Mexico comes to mind quickly.

“yes, sir… I am reporting that an American named Mr. Smith paid me 100 U.S. dollars to let him go, here is the evidence(100 dollar bill), please return it when finished with fingerprinting or DNA”

I found this hunting regulation for California. Anyone with a Rodent problem will need to pay for a hunting license as well as the exterminator because it is illegal to set a mousetrap in California if you don’t have a HUNTING license. Hopefully, they are not hunting for food.

In Arkansas, schoolteachers who bob their hair are not eligible for a raise. Bad hair day is not an excuse.

In Los Angeles, a man can legally beat his wife with a leather belt or strap, but the belt can’t be wider than 2 inches, unless he has his wife’s consent to beat her with a wider strap. Consent should be given prior to the beating, in writing would be good.

Texas looks down on Beer Making and bans the Encyclopaedia Britannica for containing a formula for home brew.

Nebraska is all about manners, especially in church, if a child burbs in chirch, his or her parents can be arrested.

Nebraska is also the state that takes haircare seriously, Giving a perm without a license is an offense.

Wait… this is a winner.

ANYONE who detonates a nuclear device in the city limits in Chico, California, can be fined $500. That is if the city is still intact and there are any lawyers around to pursue this.

Who comes up with this crazy legal shit?

So what do the trial lawyers and judges really think? here are a few of the quotes from some famous lawyers and judges.

Charles Evans Hughes, Supreme Court Justice

The United States is the greatest law factory the world has ever known.

F. Lee Bailey

I get paid for seeing that my clients have every break the law allows. I have knowingly defended a number of guilty men. But the guilty never escape unscathed. My fees are sufficient punishment for anyone.

The public regards lawyers with great distrust. They think lawyers are smarter than the average guy but use their intelligence deviously. Well, they’re wrong. usually they’re not smarter.

Chief Justice Warren Burger

ours is a sick profession marked by incompetence, lack of training, misconduct and bad manners. Ineptness, bungling, malpractice and bad ethics can be observed in court houses all over this country every day … these incompetents have a seeming unawareness of the fundamental ethics of the profession.

Fred Rodell, Professor of Law, Yale University

It is lawyers who run our civilization for us - our governments, our businesses, our private lives… We cannot buy a home or rent an apartment, we cannot get married or try to get divorced, we cannot leave our property to our children without calling on the lawyers to guide us. To guide us, incidentally, through a maze of confusing gestures and formalities that lawyers have created… The legal trade, in short, is nothing but a high-class racket.

Clarence Darrow

There is no such thing as justice - in or out of court.

The trouble with law is lawyers.

I never wanted to see anybody die, but there are a few obituary notices I have read with pleasure.

Roy Cohn

I don’t want to know what the law is, I want to know who the judge is.

Felix Frankfurter

To some lawyers all facts are created equal.

Adlai E. Stevenson

In America, anybody can be president. That’s one of the risks you take.

Warren E. Burger

We are more casual about qualifying the people we allow to act as advocates in the courtroom than we are about licensing electricians.

Law Professor Joseph G. Allegretti

I defended about one hundred forty people for murder in this country and I think in all of the cases I received just one Christmas card from all of these defendants.

Judge Irving Kaufman

The trial lawyer does what Socrates was executed for: making the worse argument appear the stronger.

Is he the corset inspector?

In Norfolk, Virginia, a woman can’t go out without wearing a corset. There was a civil service job for men only called a corset inspector.

more antiquated sexism….

A Tremonton, Utah law states that no woman is allowed to have sex with a man while riding in an ambulance. In addition to normal charges, the woman’s name will be published in the local newspaper. The man does not receive any punishment.

well, thats the question and there seems to be no answer in sight. I am sure everyone remembers the story of the LAPD officers who murdered, cheated and stole.. and got caught some years back. Rampart Division, and yes, a few of them did get caught but only after one of them gave em up trying to save his own ass. The charges against them were many, murder, grand theft, obstruction of justice, falsifying records and police reports (almost like an episode of “The Shield”) but most got off, with a few getting a bit of jail time. These men sent 100’s of innocent people to prison, murdered countless others and did it all to steal the dope and the money for their own profits but never got really punished. This was not some accidental misconduct, this was planned and a conspiracy followed to cover for them.

Had anyone else done something so heinous for profit they would have never seen the light of day again or maybe gotten the death penalty, but because these wicked excuses for humanity were cops, most got paid leave until the official firing. So, the law really does not seem to apply to them. We see this over and over and unfortunately for every 1 corrupt cop caught, 100 others got away with it.

This fool below was too busy playing macho man to realize the camera was on, and in this case, because no one was killed, the tape did not miraculously disappear as it happens with many allegations of police brutality and misconduct. The suspect in the room was there for a DUI.

Now, if I was to electrocute someone on purpose for no good reason, I doubt, I would get a paid vacation for my trouble as this officer did. His punishment was paid leave… go figure.

Laws and ordinances you really must wonder about. Wonder why any lawmaker would even waste the ink to write this much less the tax dollars to get it pushed through.

• In Alberta it seems that It is illegal for a man to drink with a woman in an Edmonton beer parlor.
• Throwing snowballs in Calgary, where there is lots of snow is against the law. I wonder if anyone ever tried to enforce this law.
• Bicycle riders are caught in a catch 22, see by law both hands must be on the handlebars at ALL times, but, you must signal with your arm to turn… hmmm…. Edmonton
• In Canada, Kids tie them laces in double knots because it is illegal for a teen to walk down main street with their shoes untied.
• In Saskatoon, It is illegal to try and catch fish with your hands
• In Toronto There will be no sawing of wood on the street
• It Toronto, it is against the law to wash your car in the street
• Windsor, no playing of a musical instrument in a park
• and in Winnipeg, No hitting the ground with metal objects
• In Winnipeg, make sure your blinds are down if dressing because you may be in some trouble if you forgot.

Here are some more… it just gets stranger for some Canadian lawmakers. I wonder what the punishment may even be for eating ice cream or having a broadband internet connection.

Does that meen the phone companies in Ontario are all breaking the law by installing broadband lines.

1. In Nova Scotia a person is not allowed to water their grass when it’s raining. Not like someone would do this, but it’s against the law in Nova Scotia!
2. In Cobourg, Ontario if you have a water trough in your front yard, it must be filled by 5:00am!
3. In Guelph, Ontario, the city is classified as a no pee zone!
4. In Toronto, Ontario, where I lived, it’s illegal to drag a dead horse down Younge St on a Sunday!
5. In Montreal, Ontario you are not allowed to wash your car in the street or park your car in a way that it blocks your own driveway!
6. In Ottawa, Ontario you are not allowed to eat ice cream on Bank St on a Sunday!
7. In Beaconsfield, Canada it’s considered an offense to have more than two colours on your house; and you are not allowed to own a log cabin!
8. In Uxbridge, Ontario it’s illegal to have an internet connection faster than 56k!
9. In Kanata, Ontario, believe this, it’s illegal to have a clothes line in your back yard!
10. Finally, in Oshawa, Ontario it’s illegal to climb trees!

I found this post on a real estate blog called blue roof… go figure, it’s great though. Go Blue Roof. Looking for Utah real estate? check em out.

The LDS fanatics state legislature has decided to “simplify” the incredibly ridiculous Utah state liquor laws again. Will this stupid and absurd “musical chairs” of liquor law rule-swapping ever stop?

Under the new rules, the limit to how much alcohol that can be poured into a drink has been increased from 1 once to 1.5 ounces. That’s the only sane part.

But, now you can no longer order a “sidecar”, or an additional shot of that alcohol that we locals have been forced to order so we can “spike” our drinks and give them a normal ratio of alcohol.

You can have a shot of liquor in front of you with a drink, but now you can not have a shot of the same type of alcohol that is in your drink. So, if you are drinking a Margarita you can have a shot of vodka or rum or bourbon, but not a shot of tequila.

Smart…

Now, I’ll just order two shots of Jack Daniels and a regular coke and pour both shots into my coke. These are the stupid things we adults need to do in Utah to have a normal drink.

Also, wine coolers and flavored malt beverages will only be sold in state liquor stores, so now that $6 six-pack of wine cooler (which are just as weak as beer) will cost you $9 with the state liquor store mark-up of over 40%.

The reasoning is that if kids see fruity drinks in the grocery store they will;

A) Steal the drinks (meaning kids here are all thief’s)

or they will

B) Simply want to drink because they see these tempting fruity drinks. Because that’s why kids drink alcolhol, right? For the fruity taste! I mean, they can’t get fruity drinks anywhere else, right?

So now, thanks to our intellectually-challenged state legislature, kids will not be drinking anymore in Utah because they won’t see fruity drinks at Albertsons…

And, of course, you still cannot ship wine into or out of the state and beer is 3.2% alcohol unlike every other state, where it’s 6%, because our lawmakers get a kick out of changing laws and rules about things they know nothing about (which is most everything).

Here is my solution;

Why not let adults drink whatever kind of alcohol they want, and let bars make the drinks the way they want, like in  other states, and then punish alcohol-related crimes much more severely? Isn’t that supposed to be the whole goal, to get rid of the bad things that can happen when people are drinking?

Here’s the ironic part of the whole thing- telling me I can’t have a shot of tequila on the table at the same time as my margarita does not make me drink less tequila, it makes me drink more. When the waitress gets to my table with my shot, I have to “chug” my margarita so I can then have my shot. And then I have to order another margarita

because I just chugged mine. Most people don’t drink shots, they drink mixed drinks or beer and they order a round of shots that sit on the table until everyone takes the shot together.

In Utah, we have to do shots of our mixed drinks and beers so that we can do shots of liquor. Our legislature is so smart…

Every state in the US probably has a few silly beer laws that make little sense to most people. Many of them are outdated or brought about by giant companies like Budweiser or religious reasons… No beer or wine on Christmas in Michigan? I Michigan politicians feel Jesus preferred apple cider to red wine on his birthdays. It really does upsets me when politicians feel that THEIR holidays should be observed in THEIR way, especially, when its a religious holiday…. remember, America is all about Freedom of Religion.. right? Well if its the case, why is drinking a glass of wine on Christmas a criminal offense if you are not even a Christian? hmmm… Well if it wasn’t for hypocrites, we would have no politicians at all.. bust people on ethics violations in the morning and bang hookers at night. Seems about right, hey back to silly beer laws.

Michigan has repealed most of its silly laws, but every Yuletide it turns into a Grinch. It’s against the law to serve alcohol on Christmas Day, even in restaurants serving holiday buffets. And silliness persists at the local level.

Anyway, here is a small summary of some US beer laws that some micro brewers and beer lovers have issues with.

Ask the members of Georgians for World Class Beer. They’ve been lobbying state legislators to repeal a 1935 law prohibiting the sale of beer having more than six percent alcohol. This archaic definition of “beer” keeps Belgian dubbels and tripels, German doppelbocks, and American barleywines off the store shelves.

A bill that would have repealed the six-percent limit was defeated once again last year. Opponents of repeal carried the day with the age-old argument: extra-strength beers would end up in the hands of teenagers looking for a quick buzz. Never mind that a high-schooler’s beer of choice is more likely to be Molson Ice than Paulaner Salvator.

Georgia’s strong-beer prohibition is nothing compared to Utah’s 3.2-percent limit on draft beer, which earned the state worldwide notoriety during the Winter Olympics. If you’ve had a pint of bitter in a British pub or a mug of Czech lager in a Prague beer hall, you know it’s possible to brew great beer with a relatively low alcohol content. But that isn’t the point: Utah’s 3.2 law prevents that state’s craft brewers from turning out a wide range of styles.

Until recently, florida-stupid-laws/" title="silly and dumb laws florida state">Florida, the state that invented Spring Break, had one of the nation’s silliest beer laws. Passed in 1965, it required containers to be one of four sizes: eight, 12, 24, or 32 ounces. The law, a by-product of a long-forgotten spat between Anheuser-Busch and Miller Brewing, posed no problem for the brewing giants. But craft brewers that preferred 22-ounce “bombers,” and European brewers using metric-sized bottles, were out of luck.

Lawmakers not only dictate what beers you can drink, but where and when you can buy them. Many states ban the sale of beer in grocery stores. Oklahoma goes one step further, forcing its citizens to go to state liquor stores to buy beer stronger than 3.2 percent. In Connecticut, beer can’t be sold after 8 pm, bringing to mind Yogi Berra’s line, “It gets late out early.” And Sunday remains a hit-or-miss proposition for traveling beer lovers; archaic blue laws ban package sales, and, in some states, force bars to close.

This list is a bit old, but its still really funny from telegraph.co.uk.

Now my fave is the one about dying in Parliament. I wonder how you would enforce that since if you died, you most likely can not be jailed or fined.

Maybe they are trying to curb people being plain bored to death while listening to the politicians.

Ten stupidest laws are named - These are the stupidest laws, according to percentage share of public vote.

Most ridiculous British laws:

1. It is illegal to die in the Houses of Parliament (27%)
2. It is an act of treason to place a postage stamp bearing the British monarch upside-down (7%)
3. In Liverpool, it is illegal for a woman to be topless except as a clerk in a tropical fish store (6%)
4. Mince pies cannot be eaten on Christmas Day (5%)
5. In Scotland, if someone knocks on your door and requires the use of your toilet, you must let them enter (4%)
6. In the UK a pregnant woman can legally relieve herself anywhere she wants, including in a policeman’s helmet (4%)
7. The head of any dead whale found on the British coast automatically becomes the property of the King, and the tail of the Queen (3.5%)
8. It is illegal not to tell the tax man anything you do not want him to know, but legal not to tell him information you do not mind him knowing (3%)
9. It is illegal to enter the Houses of Parliament in a suit of armour
10. In the city of York it is legal to murder a Scotsman within the ancient city walls, but only if he is carrying a bow and arrow (2%)

Most lame laws elsewhere:

1. In Ohio, it is illegal to get a fish drunk (9%)
2. In Indonesia, the penalty for masturbation is decapitation (8%)
3. In Bahrain, a male doctor can only examine the genitals of a woman in the reflection of a mirror (7%)
4. In Switzerland, a man may not relieve himself standing up after 10pm (6%)
5. In Alabama, it is illegal to be blindfolded while driving a vehicle (6%)
6. In Florida, unmarried women who parachute on a Sunday could be jailed (6%)
7. In Vermont, women must obtain written permission from their husbands to wear false teeth (6%)
8. In Milan, it is a legal requirement to smile at all times, except funerals or hospital visits (5%)
9. In Japan, there is no age of consent (5%)
10. In France, it is illegal to name a pig Napoleon (4%)

It also seems that during this survey, nearly half of those surveyed admitted to breaking the ban on eating mince pies on Christmas Day, which dates back to the 17th century and was originally designed to outlaw gluttony during the rule of the Puritan Oliver Crowmell.  Now thats a lot of law breakers in the UK.

This really puzzles me, now I know the the US government has gone after spammers and scammers in the US. I also understand that there is very little the US law enforcement agencies can do about “electronic crime” that is committed in identity theft hotspots like Nigeria and other Afri-scam and Afri-spam countries. But this be ridiculous…

From the Department of Justice (DOJ) website:

January 30, 2008

The Department of Justice did not send these unsolicited email messages—and would not send such messages to the public via email. Similar hoaxes have been recently perpetrated in the names of various governmental entities, including the Federal Bureau of Investigation, the Federal Trade Commission, and the Internal Revenue Service. The email messages contain a malicious attachment as well as random text used to defeat spam filters. Email users should be especially wary of unsolicited warning messages that purport to come from U.S. governmental agencies directing them to click on file attachments or to provide sensitive personal information.

If you have received this, or a similar hoax, please file a complaint at www.ic3.gov.

Hoax Email Sample:

To see a full listing of Nigerian scam emails and other Afri-scams click here